How to Get Along With Coworkers You Don’t Like

Hate is a strong word. But not strong enough! That’s how you can feel when you drive to work, gritting your teeth and chanting the mantra, “I hate my coworkers.” You probably don’t hate all of them. And if you do, don’t worry; you’re not alone.

In a survey by Quality Logo Products, 57% of workers say they hate a coworker so much that they have thought about looking for another job. Working from home surely relieves some of that stress, right? Not so much—55% of remote workers say the same thing. Not everyone takes workplace hate to that extreme. However, 90% of all employees surveyed say they have at least one coworker who annoys them.

Let’s take a look at the types of coworkers you might hate and learn how to get along with coworkers, even if you don’t like them.

The 9 Types of Coworkers We Hate the Most

Who are these annoying people you work with, and why do you hate them? And more importantly, how do you get rid of… er, learn how to deal with a coworker you hate? Here are a few of the most common objects of office annoyance. See if any of them sound familiar.

1. The Conversation Dominator

Sure, she knows a lot and has valid points. But she rambles on in every meeting and conversation, repeating her opinions until you can’t hear her over the throbbing in your head.

2. The Dr. Do Little or Nothing

This is the guy who never seems to be doing anything when he’s at his desk, which is rare. He contributes nothing during meetings, never volunteers to help on projects, and often passes his work off to others.

3. The Brownie Bragger

He thinks he’s the manager’s best friend and lets everyone know it. He goes out of his way to push you under the bus while tooting his own horn to the boss.

4. The Idea Stealer Squasher

A cousin of the Brownie Bragger, this one never agrees with your opinions, criticizes everything you do, and then once she’s beaten you down, takes your idea and presents it as her own.

5. The Start From Scratcher

This is a special annoyance category just for new hires and newly promoted managers. He barrels into his new position like the proverbial bull in a China shop. By the end of day one, he has “fixed” everything from how to generate reports to the relocation of everyone’s desk.

6. The Make-Over Candidate

The guy who wears the same shirt three days in a row and might be the source of that “fragrance” in the corner where he sits can make you say, “Wow, I hate my coworkers.” His counterpart is the woman everyone notices because her wardrobe is mostly neon and sequins, and she reeks of the latest department store perfume.

7. The Noisemaker

Whistling, humming, pencil tapping, and having private conversations that nearby satellites can pick up. Everyone is annoyed at the Noisemaker, but no one does anything.

8. The Over-Sharer

You know about the Over-Sharer’s cat’s litter box habits, what they had for dinner last night and the night before, and every minor detail of their divorce decree.

9. The Virtually Annoying

Remote work has created some new reasons to say, “I hate my coworkers.” Among the most annoying remote coworkers are people who breach virtual meeting etiquette by not muting when there’s background noise, interrupting, eating on camera, and having an unprofessional background on video calls.

How Hating Your Coworkers Can Affect Your Work Life

Having strong negative reactions to a coworker can affect your health, productivity, and career prospects. The more energy you expend on active hate, the more at risk you are for headaches, digestive issues, and stress that causes high blood pressure. The more time you spend staring at them and seething, the less work you’ll complete.

It’s important to take action to deal with your feelings before they pile up and the volcano of your wrath explodes. It’s especially unfortunate if you lose your composure during a meeting with higher-ups or have a meltdown when the rest of the office is ominously silent.

Employees who say, “I hate my coworkers” too often can even become an annoyance themselves. Yes, we know you hate Bill. Yes, we know his gum chewing annoys you. No, we don’t want to get involved. If you don’t deal with it, you might become the one who’s hated. Or worse, you might be seen as a toxic employee or drama diva, causing you to lose out on a promotion or reference.

10 Ways to Deal With a Coworker You Hate

It’s normal to feel like you don’t know what to do when you can’t stand a coworker. But think about this: While you’re churning, doing the dance of loathing, and interrupting your coworkers’ Zen, the only person your distaste may not affect is the coworker you hate. They just go on humming, criticizing, unmuting, and interrupting, oblivious to the effect they have on you.

There are ways of coping when you hate coworkers. Here are 10.

1. Step Back

If you’re a card-carrying member of the I hate my coworkers club, get serious with yourself. Is it all of the people you work with? Are there a few you can tolerate or perhaps even like? Who exactly is getting under your skin? And why?

2. Isolate the Behavior

The first step in coping with an annoying coworker is to try to separate the person from the bothersome behavior. If you find yourself saying, “I just don’t like him. He’s trouble,” look deeper. If his loud phone conversations break your concentration, that’s valid.

But it might be that they remind you of someone you’ve locked horns with in the past. Even worse, they might remind you of… yourself. The uncomfortable truth is we often hate others because they display the traits we hate in ourselves. That’s why experts say if you want to improve yourself, you should study people you hate.

2. Connect With Them

Empathy is powerful. You never know what someone is going through that can affect their behavior. Maybe the loud talker has a hearing problem. The interrupter might be in a marriage where they can never get a word in edgewise anywhere but work. The hummer could be trying to block out the voices in her head (joking, not joking). Try to turn “I hate my coworkers” into “I don’t like my coworkers but I  empathize with them.”

3. Determine if a Coworker’s Behavior Is Annoying or Egregious

Showing you pictures of fluffy modeling the latest cat fashion may make you want to hide under your desk. Stealing your client and their million-dollar contract crosses the line. But a coworker’s bad behavior does not give you a license to disrupt the office. Takes things into perspective.

4. Keep Your Hate to Yourself

While it may give you some relief to talk about someone who gets on your nerves, especially if others feel the same way, just don’t. It’s not going to stop their annoying behavior and it may make you look unprofessional. Don’t buy into gossip about someone before you’ve had issues with them yourself. Bob may be the office laughingstock, but perhaps it’s only because someone said something to someone and so on and so on. Get to know Bob yourself to see if he really stores his fingernail clipping in his desk drawer.

5. Learn How to Avoid a Coworker You Don’t Like

Sometimes the only way you learn how to get along with coworkers is to find ways to avoid them. This won’t work if they’re your boss or subordinate. Otherwise, figure out how to avoid a coworker you don’t like so you won’t see them during the day, especially one-on-one:

• Don’t volunteer to work on projects where your cooperation is essential.
• Decline invitations to extracurricular activities you know they will attend.
• Rehearse small talk that will allow you to quickly leave the scene if you’re corned in the office kitchen.

6. If You Can’t Avoid Them, Then Set Boundaries

Sometimes figuring out how to work with people you don’t like is about setting boundaries. If it’s a noise problem, see if you can move your desk or wear noise-cancelling headphones. Fake a phone call when cat-lady starts heading your way, or simply tell her you’re in the middle of something and will try to look at the latest photo session later. Schedule any essential meetings with them right before other meetings, so there’s a firm endpoint to your conversation.

7. Create a Before-and-After Ritual

Take a couple deep breaths before going into a meeting they’ll be in. Have a I-hate-my-coworkers routine. Do something pleasurable before seeing them, perhaps have a piece of candy, listen to a song you love, or glance at a picture of your loved one. Then find a ritual you can do after an interaction to help you to cope. Maybe go to your car, drive out of sight of the office, and heave a good hearty primal scream. Or just head across the street to your favorite café and grab a well-earned latte.

8. Ask Yourself if You Could Be the Problem

This is a tough one. Is the person’s bad habit really that bad, or are you being overly sensitive? Do they trigger a bad memory? If you hate everyone in your workplace, and you think they don’t like you, maybe it’s because of your bad habit or behavior.

9. Manage Your Reaction

You can’t control someone’s behavior, but you have complete authority over how you respond. Making a scene is not helpful. If you decide it’s time to say something to the person, do it professionally, respectfully, and in private. For example, you could say, “John, I know you disagree with my approach to XYZ, but I was uncomfortable when you criticized me in that meeting. Do you have some time to meet to see if we can reach a compromise?”

10. Decide if You Should Involve Your Manager or HR

If you witness a coworker doing something unethical or harmful rather than just annoying, your best decision might be to let your boss or HR handle it. If it’s a personal issue between you and the coworker, think about whether it’s significant to bring to your boss. You may put them in an uncomfortable situation if they have to talk to a team member about hygiene or loud eating habits. As with most problems, try to go into that discussion with a possible solution to offer.

Get Better Coworkers With Monster

If more than one coworker gets under your skin, or you tell your family and friends “I hate my coworkers” more than once a week, maybe your job is not a good fit. Turn things around by applying to new jobs with better coworkers. Complete a Monster profile to let recruiters and hiring managers know you’re looking. Then, use your profile to apply directly to new jobs posted on Monster. We’ll also send the latest job postings right to your inbox, so your next lunch with the coworker who microwaves leftover fish is your last.